The Thrill is Gone

I have only spoken to 3 people about this. And they feel the same. I think people are starting to discuss but only one post seems to have said it all, and the comments are worth reading. (below)

And I thought it was just me. Click HERE to read the comments. 

I can't paint anymore. Nothing makes sense. I don't want to do anything other than the basics: quiet days, minding my own business, my home, my animals, my mental well being, a simple, quiet life, my expenses being only what I need to survive. I don't want any extras. I don't want any stress or pressure,  no ambitions, and the less eventful my days are, the better. 

I want to spend my days taking care of my life, as my plate is more than full: eat, nap, walk the dogs, eat again, and sleep, wake up, live my days moment by moment, no plans, no 5 year goals, nothing. No frills. I have grieved so much in these past ten years, lost everything I thought made my life have value, then had to find the value that's my own, that doesn't depend on anyone or anything, though my previous pack of dogs made my life so worthwhile. 

I am permanently tired. What once was, it is no more. It's not even depression. It's a waiting. The other shoe's going to drop and I'm learning to walk barefoot.