The day began slowly. The word "inspiration" popped into my head as I walked up the mountain with the dogs. I thought "my fire is extinguished, I don't feel any desire to create art anymore". This, and something else, set the tone for the day.
I have been grieving pets. It comes in waves, then they recede. Right now, high tides.
And the dog walk has been awful because of new neighbors with aggressive dogs that taunt my large dog and I can't hold her. I am forced to release her off leash while we pass by this house. And the dogs grind at each other through the gate. The metal gate is chained and has a lock but when the dogs are trying to chew each other off , it feels as if it's going to burst open.
All these people need to do is to cover this gate so the dogs have no way to see or try to rip each other apart. Since they won't do it, I will have to ask because this is making my life really hard and I go on dog walks to relax, not to get wound up and terrified.
Oh how I wish I had been blessed with a rich husband or that I would have had family money to buy a ranch. You may ask I am being a man-dependent woman here but it's because I am not made for the money game. I would never have been able to achieve financial riches because I don't play games well. I don't like games. My mind, my heart, my body, my soul - we are dreamers, we are artists, we are feelers and thinkers, not commerce driven. So either I would have had to marry or have had family money and neither one of those happened. A ranch. A ranch away from everything (people, that is). So my dogs could be free all day. Think Tom Green up in Canada with his dog Charlie (who's a girl dog).
Sigh.
Instead, I'm about to lose fingers because these dogs taunt my dog and she pulls the leash too hard. I can't hold her. Her 60 lbs becomes 100 lbs of meat pulling me into this mess. Once, I almost fall on the asphalt with my head down on it. Another time, I stepped on my small dog, who was crying. These people will get a letter from me soon. Another letter. The first letter was asking them to do something because their dogs were free to roam. Roaming the street freely all day long, every day. That's why the whole chaos started. My dog had to fight these dogs, who were running toward me and my small dog. So now my dog thinks they are going to do the same thing. Now she is used to being the defender of her pack. Now she is triggered by them every time.
If I had a ranch, none of this would be happening. I'd have a nice pet cemetery too, instead of the location where I buried my dogs, which happens to not be on my property, and if someone buys it, I am screwed. I'll have to dig them out and move the bones to my side. That would be horrible. It would destroy me.
Anyway, long story short, I was kind of depressed all day today.
Toward the end of the day I went on IG and found some helpful posts. This is one of them. Well, I found this by finding a post by this organization (see toward the bottom). Funny enough, this is from the book that a Brazilian woman I watch reads from in Portuguese. Small world.
(C) 2026 Cris Melo / Melo Earth
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