“There are still moments when I look back at that experience and want to die all over again, but then I think to myself: ‘Have I made those same mistakes since that day?’
Every time, the answer is ‘No’.
To thrive, you need to examine what happened.
You can’t process and learn until you examine an event.”
- Margot Robinson (Book: The Peaceful Soul Within)
Sure, there could be more of that dirty paper we call money but there isn't, and I have learned to receive help from others, as well as to size down my life to the bare minimum so that I don't feel anxious about not having "enough". I have learned to recognize the protection from our Creator, who has provided me with a creative mind which assists me in figuring out ways to help myself. If a door closes, a window is opened. I come from humble beginnings and I am comfortable in that. I have no ambitions because of the heavy load of things that drag behind being ambitious. I tried. Found out that it's not for me. I just want peace. Peace 'til the end. And if you think I mean death as the end, let me state that death is not the end. I mean the end of being here, in this heavy physical body state.
This week I went down to the bottom of the grief hole again. Missing my dogs and delving in guilt. I have someone who cares and wants to help me overcome these feelings that have no use because I can't fix what I see as having been wrong. I can only live my life as best as I can and that best is being worked on every day. Sometimes I allow myself to grieve hard. But I can't stay there. I turn 60 this year. I can't squander my days with things I can't control.
This week I was reminded. Amazing, my mind, I can't remember things I thought I would. Nope, unless I write it down and read it, it goes POOF. Someone reminded me that Spring time is here. I mean the very calendar date, which is the true new year, coming up in 3 days. This is when I and many others celebrate the start of a new year, as we see that in Nature, the re-awakening up to Spring. My garden has already been blooming steadily. It all comes so fast. Today, we have summer weather. It's hot af out there. It brings concern for the true summer weather later. And fires. But let's not get ahead of ourselves and just enjoy the best of now: flowers.
PS: Painting below is on eBay. Ready for a new home.
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(C) 2026 Cris Melo / Melo Earth
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