Hiding

I write daily, but privately.
It has become very hard for me to open up, to type words, and let them stay. When this phenomena of not wanting to open up started, I would write a post, and then quickly make it private or delete. I could not stand the feeling of letting my words be seen. 

This happened after having done the very opposite for years: TMI galore on social media. 
I used to open up more than I ever wanted to on FB.

FB has been a curse, really. The stuff I've written on FB over the years could, in a communistic regime, get me zapped. Of course, the technocracy has all the receits; they got everything we have ever done online, from reactions to writing, and everything in betwix. 

I still recall a customer of mine saying to me in the 90s that I had to get on FB and I refused. But the day I decided to check it out, I was ADDICTED at first try. And addicted I stayed, for many many years. This year I have finally quit. I can't stand it. FB now gives me the same feeling I get when I go on IG. I get on there and I feel an unpleasant sensation taking over my entire body. My eyes burn. I get out very quickly.

FB is bad also because all I see is animals in need of homes, and animal abuse. The algos serve me these topics because since 2013 I have dedicated most of my time on social media to network and assist the rescue and rehoming of, mostly, dogs.

There were years past when I cried constantly bc of the stuff I would see on FB about animals. I cried all of the time. I was profoundly angry and depressed. It spilled into my life bc my life was also a mess. Actually, there was no spill because everything was chaotic.

Today, thank God, I have so much silence, so much peace, solitude, and the company of lovely things that don't speak human language. I love it so much - though the cats can get annoying when begging for food. 

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about something else which I have actually forgot, as I get to the end. This is a good thing: I am glad to have been able to flip my mind into being in the moment, only in this moment, and that means I will forget what I was about to do 10 mins ago. 

Cat lovers, watch this extremely lovely film. A woman is responsible for creating everything you see. Her name is Gitanjali Rao and she's from India. 

Since I am working at changing my feelings about death, this comes at the right time. No human talking in this movie! 😍💝

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